Friday, May 27, 2011

AT&T Customer Service Chat

There should be an online game where you can throw Chinese stars at cartoon AT&T middle managers who are as inept at ducking as they are at implementing technology. Somebody should really get on that. It needs some kind of biofeedback and instead of points it would display a blood pressure readout and you throw the stars until your blood pressure gets back in the normal range. Of course it's going to need to work with very little bandwidth.

So here's what I've figured out about the AT&T phone tree. No matter what support number you call they route you to the office in the region for the area code you're calling from. No wait, let me clarify, the area code programmed into the phone you are calling with. (Pardon my prepositions) I still have a Georgia number in my cell phone. But I'm in Texas. It is extremely difficult for me to get the right people on the phone. I'm sure whoever thought of this believed it was a brilliant idea. When phone number portability came to pass they probably realized what was going to happen and they quickly got a new job so they wouldn't have to go back and un-do what they'd done.

So when I call AT&T support I have to be transferred and cut off multiple times, and when I finally get somebody they make me turn my modem off and on for 40 minutes before they admit they have a network problem and have to send somebody out to fix their equipment on my street corner. I end up wasting 25% of my allotment of monthly voice minutes on my AT&T cell phone trying to resolve an AT&T DSL issue.

I'm a problem solver not just a complainer though. I ended up taking my laptop to Panera Bread with free wifi. I realized I was going to get a migraine from high blood pressure if I had to go through the phone tree one more time where they insist you put in your phone number, which I don't have. I just have DSL. Who has a land line anymore?! See? I feel my pressure rising just reflecting on it. So I went hunting for an online chat. I'm putting the link here so I can find it faster next time. Here it is: AT&T chat link. Right side bar. Of course as I write this it is down. That's just brilliant.

In the time between my DSL connection dropping I clicked that link enough times to get offered a customer service survey! Oh boy! There's a box at the bottom to type stuff in. Look out! I don't foresee any results, but I gave them some useful tips. (Note to the survey company: That logo is terrible. See Steve Leacock for a new one immediately.)


  1. I don't know if this helps or is simply insulting, but I'm laughing about this. It's really out of a sense of empathy, I promise!

    I'm an AT&T customer for my iPhone, and only have half the problems you're facing, but I do feel the same rise in BP when I try to deal with them.

    I like the game. How about having a direct line to either the hypothalamus or pituitary that will stimulate β-endorphins too? Mmmm....revenge and a good, calming effect!

  2. Oh, and I love that I can open a link to your blog from my iPhone by scanning the Aztec Code for it on my desktop screen. Useless, but fun!

  3. Ok, geekily peppering this post with stupid comments, I apologize. Just realized that the bar code is probably QR, not Aztec!

  4. Thank you for using my QR code. As long as nobody has to type it there's nothing wrong with having a URL that hard to spell.

    I think it's only a matter of time before my glass track pad has biofeedback properties. It should be able to detect changes in the capacitance of my skin. Then there are a myriad of applications one could write using that data.

  5. I read this article, this article very informative and interesting..I refer your blog to many of my friends as well.
    Thanks for sharing knowledge..

    Customer Service Survey Questions

  6. All this time later they still don't give a damn!!!! Someone ought to put a bullet in the head of their Customer Service team!!!!!

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