@RojSmith sent me this link on Twitter. This song was the first he ever heard of chiggers. That's adorable. I had to make a poem.
Oh, British Isles with your meager diversity
How do you ever learn to cope with strife and adversity?
With no gators, no chiggers, and no giant fangy snakes?
At best you get a fright from an ill-tempered drake.
"Hey! I saw a lizard!" Well, bully for you.
I can't open my door without seeing two.
Wasps fill my extension cord holes in a concerted attack
Armadillos dig holes and won't put the dirt back.
Everything around me is a threat or annoying
The woods are chaos. The greenness is cloying.
Without mowers and fortitude our existence would be futile
Because nature in the South is vigorous and brutal.