Monday, March 14, 2011

AT&T will feel the wrath of my rhyme

Paula Poundstone says, "I have tasted despair and I can tell you it's better with butter." It's going to take a hell of a lot of butter to take the taste of AT&T's betrayal out of my mouth. 

 "AT&T will cap DSL and U-Verse internet, impose overage fees" is filling me with so much despair it may ferment into pure rage.

Beware, beware!
Don't go there!
That video you're streaming,
Do you dare?

Do you dare to read the news?
Watch the game to see who'll lose?
Video chat with your sweetie?
When they're visiting Tahiti?

Fuck you, hulu watching junkie
and fuck you too, ass picking monkey
AT&T has shut the valve
We're gonna need a lot of salve
They burned us bad, and rubbed it in
They took off 14 layers of skin

But when we've recovered from the shock
We'll grab AT&T by their brazen cock
We'll snatch it up to their face
and ask "Can't you keep this in it's place?" 
Do not put this in our bill
We will not stand for this shill

This is bullshit, plain and simple
You festered, throbbing, oozy pimple
Fucking fix your network, you piece of shit
Run new fiber, the whole high speed bit
You let it lapse like nothing matters
Well it's embarrassing, it's in tatters

If you hired engineers in the United States
And paid them enough to put food on their plates
You'd have bandwidth and speed 
That we don't want, we NEED
I depend on my internet, it's how I'm sociable
I'll tolerate no limits, it's non-negotiable

I'm fucking mad, I'm really pissed off
Engineers at the space center are getting laid off
Wall Street bankers are getting giant bonuses
While people who fix things are left with the onuses
Instead of making it work like it ought to
AT&T thinks they will just charge more for the top 2
But if you'd just done your job
Instead of stroking your knob
We'd have plenty of bandwidth for all our citizens
Instead of begrudging each single bitizen

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