Monday, June 6, 2011

WWDC stands for Weiner Wishes for Device Chaperone

I watched live tweeting of the Apple World Wide Developer's Conference (WWDC) keynote today. They announced some stuff I'm excited about, that I've been waiting for, and some things that sound a little bit risky. Steve Jobs showed how iCloud automatically uploads a picture from your iPhone to the cloud and then pushes it to your iPad. Waaaaiiiit a minute. What if it's a private picture? What if you take a picture of your butt in a dressing room so you can judge if these jeans make your butt look funny? Cher wasn't kidding in Clueless. You can't trust mirrors. You have to take snaps. But you just want to look at it and delete it, not push it to your Macbook back home! So I was immediately filled with trepidation about this announcement. There needs to be a way to easily flag a photo as private. That's what I thought when I heard about this during the WWDC.

Then this afternoon Rep. Weiner admitted that he put that picture of his package on Twitter himself. Oh for crying out loud. He MEANT to send it to somebody else. Dang, man, we've all been there. Sorry about that! He deleted it immediately after he saw what he'd done, and then in his embarrassment lied and said he'd been hacked.

But wait a minute. The new Mac OS also has a new facial recognition feature in Photobooth. Well I'm not sure exactly what I would use that for, but it gives me a great idea. What you really need, what EVERYBODY needs, is a genital recognition feature. If there are any genitals, or nipples for that matter, in a photo then the system should ask permission before it uploads it anywhere.

It would kind of be classy if iPhoto would automatically blur out photos of this nature if it detects you aren't on your home wifi too. Coffee shop safety. I wouldn't actually mind a self-destruct button too. Like a flag where you could set a timer to delete certain photos permanently in 30 minutes. And if this flag is set your phone won't allow the photos to be uploaded to Facebook or Twitter.

They say the new Safari has features that make it very easy to send tweets. Integrate the genital recognition feature, stat. Representative Weiner would probably appear in your ads. He seems like a pretty good sport. Ask him if you can call it the Weiner Warning.

They say they only talked about 10 of some 200 new features in both iOS5 and Lion. So maybe all this stuff is in there already. Now I just have to wait until July to find out! If not, I wonder if you could TRAIN iPhoto to recognize your junk as a face? I mean don't you have to pick a face and name it then it looks for that in other pictures? This is hypothetical, not a solution to an actual problem. I'm just wondering. I don't use Faces in iPhoto because most of my photos aren't of people and it just slows everything down.

I kind of wish I actually had a TV with cable so I could watch the Daily Show tonight to see what Jon Stewart has to say about his friend Rep. Weiner. My favorite bit so far is definitely the soul singer treatment. I wonder if this is what changed his mind and made him tell the truth? It is quite compelling. And I agree totally. I'm not judging Rep. Weiner morally whatsoever. I couldn't care less if he talked about sex with six strangers online. I'm just a little disappointed in his grasp of technology. And disappointed in technology for not predicting his error and preventing it. We have to make this stuff idiot proof and they're making better idiots every day.

1 comment:

  1. This is so good that I'm actually at a loss for words on how much I enjoyed it. Let's just say, "a whole lot."!

    And that clip from the Daily Show was perfect.