Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Car mice and pine trees

I have longleaf pine seedlings popping up all over my yard. Some grow in places where they really don't belong, like this one between the bricks of my patio. These trees throw off way more seeds than they need to for proper forest maintenance though, so I'm not that worried about a few not making it.

The woods is just teaming with life. It doesn't care if I'm here or not. In fact a lot of plants and animals prefer my house to their usual haunts. And my car. I am frustrated beyond belief by mice in my car. I found four live baby mice in my car last week and saw the mama get away under my seat. Today I found two dead baby mice in a nest on top of my lug wrench in the spare tire well. A nest of what looked like stuffing pulled out of my back seat. STOP TEARING UP MY STUFF!

The trap door style mouse trap I set had been pushed up against the carpeted side so the door wouldn't close and the mouse went in there and ate ALL the peanut butter. Son of a BITCH! I set four freshly baited traps in there tonight. Mice better watch out. I'll "set them free" alright, you're darn tootin'.

Meanwhile in the engine compartment of the car mice are saving up the same seeds that are sprouting up all over my yard. MY INTAKE MANIFOLD IS NOT YOUR PANTRY! Goddamn little fuckers!

Now I don't have my wifi password protected so theoretically the mice in my car have free broadband access so they can read this warning. But I don't leave my laptop in the car, plus just because these mice are old enough to breed doesn't mean they're old enough to read. So I think it's up to us humans to make our machinery less appealing to the mice.

I challenge any car maker to design a car with mouse countermeasures. My friends at Enginuity Works have explicit instructions to design lottery ticket dispensing machines so that mice can't get inside them. Surely this is a worthy goal for a car maker as well.

So let's make it happen Honda!
Mouseproof it true, Subaru!
Make a new plan for the sedan.
Keep it mouse-free in the SUV.
I'll be braggin' on my wagon
when when there's no poop on the upholstery.


  1. Did June give up on the mice eating everything under the hood of her Volvo?

  2. She traded that Volvo for a tractor. Her new car has a problem with frogs dying on the engine block.

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