Laudable Longleaf

Before picture from my front porch toward the lab, Tuesday morning

My mother and aunts and I did a summer burn on my hill on Tuesday.

During, lighting along the footpath between the house and the lab

After, from the same spot on the front porch, Tuesday evening.

Since Tuesday several stobs and stump holes have been burning continuously. On Day 6 after the burn there were still enough stumps and stobs burning to make a noticeable smoke haze on the highway early in the morning when I drove to pick blueberries at my aunt's house.

I've been particularly interested in one amazing stob at the bottom of my hill all week. This tree and two near it were struck by lightning about 6 years ago. I heard it strike and I also heard my uninterruptible power supply make a loud pop from the surge. I went to look at the UPS and saw smoke from the window. I went down the hill where the lightning struck the trees and put out the fire with a rake while it was just small. They have been standing there since that event, dead. They still had bark and managed to not catch fire the last time we burned the hill about 3 years ago. But this time all three of them caught fire. Two of them fell over after about 3 days and kept burning on the ground. But one tree stood as a symbol of why about 90 million acres of longleaf forests were promptly cut down by early settlers leaving less than 5% of the pre-settlement forests. Longleaf pine is unbelievably strong as a structural lumber. Unbelievably.

Longleaf stob on Friday, still burning 4 days after burning off

What happens is the sap wood burns off and leaves the heart behind. Longleaf heartwood is saturated with resin. It forms a layer of soot and puts itself out. I'm not really clear on the physics of how it works. But the sap wood must be porous enough that air can get in and it keeps burning and burning. It ends up looking like you took a mechanical pencil and extended the lead out all the way and held it up that way. The big heavy part on the top and the lead holding the whole thing up. 

Same tree on Saturday

Saturday closeup

Monday morning zoom photo from the top of the hill of the burning interface of sapwood and heartwood 

Zoomed out to show the distance from the ground to the sapwood. Tree
is in the center of the photo, leaning to the left.
Black at the bottom, light at the top, and smoking

How is that tree still standing up?! That's amazing. It is so far off center and the thin black heart pine base is barely bending.

After I took these pictures I went in the lab and uploaded them onto the computer and started reading about wood ducks. That's the reason I went out there in the first place with my bird camera. A wood duck came out of a woodpecker hole in a tree between my house and the lab and she was perching in trees, calling, working her way toward the pond. I wondered what she was doing. Cornell Ornithology Lab hinted that is what they do to help their babies find their way to water but I didn't see any babies. I want to see wood ducklings!

CRACK! BOOM!

HA! sez me,  I knew that thing couldn't stand there like that forever! I rushed out with my iPhone to see how it fell.

Monday, 9:10 am

Dang! It just buned up until the area of the heartwood post was small enough it couldn't handle the stress and that's where it broke off! Neat!

Here's the top part. There is still a lot of top. And it is still on fire.

Here's a piece that flew off the breaking place. It was still warm.
Also not as heavy as I thought it would be.

Top of tree from the other end a little later in the day

I went back with a tape measure. There are about 3 pieces of the top broken apart into 4' and 5' pieces. The long piece on the ground is 25' long. I estimate 43' of tree fell down and 25' is still standing.

Select structural longleaf has the highest maximum allowable stress and compressive strength of any lumber species in the 5th edition of Ramsey and Sleeper’s Architectural Graphic Standards of 1956.  

According to this table, a longleaf post 9 1/2" square and 12' long can support 136,250 pounds. I think that means straight down though, not leaning off center. The diameter of the bottom of the stob is about 9" now that all the sapwood has burned off.

Diameter of heart of tree ~9"

Diameter of whole tree including sapwood above where it broke off about 11"

Here's some pine tar oozing out of the extremely hard wood

Only living tissue gives off the sticky pine tar in normal circumstances, like when red cockaded woodpeckers drill holes to make the entrance to their holes all sticky. But if you heat up dead heart wood enough the sap will come out. The drops beading up on the ceiling of my lab are further proof. 

I was interested to look at the woodpecker holes in this hard-hearted tree. I didn't see any nesting cavities in it, but there was one cavity big enough to stick my iPhone in it. They just worked around the heart. Not really good for a nesting cavity. Why'd they make that big cavity? Were they finding bugs in there? I see some little holes in the wood at the end. Maybe there was a little infestation of powder post beetles right there?

Here's a woodpecker cavity with an opening big enough for me to stick my iPhone inside.
This is looking toward the tree top.

Near the tree I've been watching there is another tree that was killed by the same bolt of lightning some 6 years ago. It fell down Thursday. The stump is short enough I could get a tape measure to the top and measure it in the simplest way possible.

Another tree killed by the same bolt of lightning

This one broke off short enough for me to measure it, about 13' above the ground.

This tree has almost completely burned up. It's still smoking a bit on the 7th day since the burn.

A white line of ashes and some resinous chunks are all that remain

I wonder what makes some trees burn all the way up and some put themselves out and stay stobs forever? How did the sawmill operators choose what would be called Structural Select lumber with the highest rating? How many tests did they perform to come up with the numbers in those tables? I wonder if they have stopped using that kind of lumber designation altogether now they they make engineered glue laminated beams?

I Googled it. There is a new set of tables from tests done in 2013.

More than 7,400 full-size samples of commercially-produced Southern Pine were destructively tested in a two-step process, resulting in more than 300,000 data points

I studied it and couldn't really understand how to compare the units with the old book. They didn't separate the data by species anymore. Loblolly, slash, shortleaf, and longleaf are all lumped into Southern Pine now. I think longleaf is so rare now you have to go to a specialty sawmill that doesn't do anything else.

Reading about nest cavities in snags was more interesting. I found a study done near here in the '90s to see how many wood ducks use old red cockaded woodpecker holes. They only found 6 active nests, 5 in live trees, one in a stob. They estimated the average age of the longleaf trees with wood duck suitable cavities at 100-150 years. 22% of suitable wood duck cavities were enlarged red cockaded woodpecker holes. My wood ducks use the same nest cavity as a pileated woodpecker. I think they're taking turns. I see them both going in and out of there. I assume it is an enlarged red cockaded woodpecker hole, based on the fact that there is an aluminum number nailed to that tree. Not sure which ornithologist nailed it on there or when. That hole has a west entrance and a north entrance. It has been there my whole life. I can remember seeing ducks go in there when I was just a little girl some 40 years ago. And I have never seen a baby duck jump out. But I'm going to keep watching.

2015 Was a Very Small Year

I didn't write much in 2015. I was busy knitting. I have 145 items in my iPad database of designs. I didn't really keep track of how many finished objects I made. I don't derive my satisfaction from running totals. I started out the year wondering if constant counting and calculating would improve my dexterity with numbers, but I think I have proven I have a bona fide brain deficit and no amount of practice is ever going to make me flawless. It still makes me sad to hear about people who "hate math." I'm grateful my innumeracy never turned into loathing.

I didn't go anywhere in 2015. My car stayed in my home county and two adjacent ones in Georgia and Florida.

Nothing awesome happened to me in 2015.

My house sank, but I fixed it. A duck dented my car, but I fixed it. I felt like crap all year, and I couldn't fix that. When I take my car to the mechanic they keep replacing parts until it works better. If doctors did anything like that I might go to them for help. I did not see a doctor in 2015.

I had no drama in my life in 2015. Nobody told me what to do, I never raised my voice in anger at anyone. I woke up every day and did exactly what I felt like doing.

I think I was the best hermit I could be in 2015.

I am a little worried about money though. I don't see how my mother and aunts can keep buying the stuff I knit at the same rate. I looked online at job openings near my brother's new house since he has an extra bedroom now. I tried to imagine myself going to a job interview. Tried to imagine driving down the turnpike in South Florida to go sit at a Windows computer applying styles to Microsoft Word documents. It was about the same feeling I have when I think about making a doctor's appointment. Despair, hopelessness, dark misery.

The chirpy little job descriptions caused a rising background hum of cynical growling on top of the constant ringing in my ears.

Excellent technical writing skills for environmental consulting applications are required as are outstanding engineering/scientific problem-solving abilities. The selected candidate will demonstrate passion for the business of environmental consulting, technical excellence and quality, leadership potential, a commitment to lifelong learning and growth, and the desire to build a long and rewarding career with the Firm.

I feel so much negativity for "passion for the business," "leadership potential" and "desire to build a long and rewarding career with the Firm." I just want some fucking health insurance. Why do I have to buy into this Tony Robbins bullshit?

I actually do like working with teams of engineering consultants. I like making people stop fucking up the environment. I just don't give a damn about the business of it. To me the whole point of working in a big company is division of apathy. Lots of people don't give a damn about a stylesheets and passive voice. I will handle that, they can handle making a profit. I do not expect the head of accounts receivable to be passionate about illegal sea walls, don't ask me to be passionate about time sheets.

Does anybody read that paragraph and feel inspired and motivated? Are they coasting along on the delusional wave of normal behavior? Career, children, pets, crippling debt? Do I really want to hang out with them 40 hours a week? I don't know. It would be fine I guess. I would adapt. But how many of them would be happy with a year like I just had? I probably spent less than 40 hours TOTAL FOR THE YEAR in the company of at least one other person. And I liked it. Isn't it a shame to waste that aptitude?

It's very difficult to stop doing nothing, of course. Reduce, Reuse, Recluse, Repeat. Here's the first video I ever uploaded to Vimeo. I made it with Keynote. I miss Graham Chapman.

I Didn't Speak Dressed as a Carrot from Barbara Tomlinson on Vimeo.

Conflatulagration: Formal Terminology for Flaring Flatus

I woke up this morning wondering if an astronaut ever tried to light a fart in microgravity. If they could do it without setting off a fire alarm that would alert Houston and get them in trouble they've probably done it. Those Nomex flight suits.... But what if it turned out to make a really fascinating spherical ball of flame and a charming burst of soot, or nothing happened at all, which could happen because there's no convection to bring more oxygen to the party, and they wanted to share their findings? They'd need a big word for the title of the white paper. "What happens when astronauts on the space station light their farts?" simply isn't formal enough. It would have to be "Controlled Studies in Microgravity Conflatulagration" or "Flaring Flatus While Floating: Combustion Experiment Foiled by Lack of Convection"

I checked the etymology of conflagration and flatus. They are both Latin. Conflagration comes from con - (expressing intensive force) + flagrare - to blaze. And flatus comes from flare - to blow. "Flaring your flatus" is therefore redundant, but it makes me think of those tall pipes flaring the gas off a landfill or oil derrick so I like it anyway.

Gas Flaring in Louisiana, with gravity in full effect
Photo by me, 2010

The thing about living on a planet with 7.3 billion other people is whenever you think of something new, chances are good somebody else already thought of it too. So I googled "conflatulagration." I found a single occurrence of the word conflatulagration on the Internet.

It's in a comment after an economics article in The Guardian in 2011 answering another commenter who wanted to know why oil prices go up when anybody in Libya farts.

This user has 305 comments on Guardian stories. Skimming over them I see farts are sort of his pet topic. He would get along with my step-sister. I think she would enjoy the term "fartisinal" quite a lot.

I'm not really a fartficionado. I only know about flaring flatus from stories my father told us when we were little about what he got up to when he was in engineering school. And when I went to that same school my brother's friends confirmed it is a real thing that engineering students do. Lots of astronauts were engineering students once. So I consider the probability that somebody tried to light a fart in zero g is better than the odds of being one of the people on earth to make up a formal word for it.

There's a TV show called Going Deep with David Rees where he spends about 25 minutes investigating the details of things people think they know all about, like how to tie your shoes. Of course I watch every episode. These are my people. David Rees was on The Daily Show last week. Trevor Noah clearly doesn't get it. "But if you are compelled to investigate the details of every trivial aspect of life, how do you LIVE?" 

I'm still trying to figure out what he means. How do YOU live, Trevor Noah? Ignorant of the fascinating details of the world? What kind of life is that?!

Why won't millenials buy cars and houses?

I watch a lot of NASA TV. At least once a week there will be an interview with an astronaut and somebody will ask them when they first wanted to be an astronaut and what did they do to become one. Some wanted to be astronauts since childhood. I am surprised that children plan for careers like that. I'm surprised at the children in the audience who are already thinking about it and ask the question.

I don't remember ever having career goals as a kid. What I wanted to be when I grew up was a grown up. I really didn't like being a kid at all. I found it limited my ability to get things done. I liked to make things. I didn't play pretend with other kids, or do any sports. I read books and learned to sew and knit and do cross stitch. I worked all year making elaborate Christmas gifts for my relatives. I didn't think about what job I would have as an adult, but I did desperately yearn to not be stuck doing kid stuff anymore. I made my dad take me to the drivers license office the first day they were open after my 16th birthday to take my driving test even though I had never driven his car before. I mostly did my learner's permit driving in my grandmother's stick shift Toyota pickup. But I was willing to embrace anxiety and take a stranger for a ride in an automatic transmission Delta 88 so I could get that badge of adulthood. Even though I slammed my clutch foot on the brake at least once I still passed.

I heard that some of my cousin's kids just breezed past their 16th birthday without going for their driving test like it didn't even matter. I was stunned. This is how it is now. It's a trend. (Study source: AAA Foundation for Highway Safety)

Delay in licensure was found to be widespread: only 44 percent of respondents reported that they obtained a driver’s license within one year of the minimum age for licensing in their state, and only 54 percent reported that they obtained a license before turning 18

I worked during high school doing data entry and office work. I had my most responsible job of my life at age 19 as a sophomore at Georgia Tech. I was the Features Editor of the school newspaper with responsibility for a large staff. I determined what people had to do and how much they got paid. I worked 40 hours a week and was a full time student. I got my first F in Calculus IV. And I still wasn't thinking about what I wanted to do for a career.

One of my nieces finished her first year in college and went back to her Mother's house for the summer. She said she didn't want to get a job because if her friends texted about doing something she didn't want to have to say, "No, I can't, I have to go to work." I had a hard time wrapping my head around that. I'm not sure if it's because I didn't have texting at her age, or because I didn't have any friends in the town where I lived during my sophomore summer. The summer of 1986 I went to work from 9 to 5 every day and did electrical riser diagrams in AutoCAD. Only one project would fit on the computer at a time because the hard drive was only 40 Mb. I had to copy the drawings onto 5 1/2" floppies and clean off the hard drive for the next job. I made $4 an hour and my boss charged architects $40 an hour for the work I did.

I bought my first new car in 1989. I'd had 5 new cars by the time I was 32. I bought my first house at 25. I was doing what I always wanted to do, be a grown up. And I still hadn't picked a career. I was a 1099 contractor in electronics development. Between projects I would renovate my house. I loved being a grown up. I got my own way and I got to make things. It was all I ever wanted.

It is a well established fact that I am weird. Which is why I am embarrassed that it constantly surprises me to realize things that are totally normal for other people that I never even thought about. It has slowly dawned on me in the last week that a lot of people still cling to aspects of being children. Evidence: all the full grown adults on Twitter changing their names to Halloween puns. This is probably why so many people have children. They liked being children, they wouldn't mind being reminded of it. Not me. No way. I want very much to not relive that 17 year prison sentence of other people telling me what to do.

Is that why millenials don't buy cars and houses? They don't want to be grown ups? They like to be kids even more than people nearer my age who still buy houses and cars despite having Halloween pun names on Twitter? Kids today have even less motivation to be grown ups? Why was I so desperate to be a grown up? Because being a kid SUCKED. But now young people clearly are not as fundamentally frustrated by their teenage lifestyle as I was. The other analysis points to the internet as the reason for this contentment.

This sounds right to me. I mean, I lived in this exact same spot as a teenager and I HATED it. It was a long distance phone call from my house to the kids in my class at school, not that I really wanted to talk to any of them. I wanted to go to college with people I liked and never have to come back here. Yet here I am, happily typing this essay in the Spartan I rebuilt on the burnt out slab of my childhood home in the woods. Because internet. I can connect with people, get the materials I need to make things with online shopping, all without going in my car. The same car I have had since my first internet service provider, Mindspring, went public in 1996.

The point of the other analysis online seems to be what to do about this. How about accept it? Adapt to it. Car makers want to figure out a way to get people to run through 5 new cars in 10 years like I did in my 20s? How about stopping to ask if that's even a good thing? If 20 somethings don't need cars make something they do need. The internet could use a lot of work. If Ford wanted to run a fiber optic cable to my house I would be cool with giving them $50 a month instead of Windstream. But I'm not buying a Fiesta.

Why don't millenials want your giant subdivision houses? Well, that's just the economy, stupid. They do want paid-for tiny houses. That's another thing I know about. But I have to go make something now and don't feel like thinking about this anymore.

Unclaimed Property as a Tax Dodge?

I got a letter from PriceWaterhouseCoopers this week. They are doing an audit for Google and found that Google owes me some money. It's earned revenue from my old AdSense account. I assume it's from YouTube and the few ads I had on my blog for a while. In 2010 I decided ads on my blog were dumb because I was never going to reach the payment threshold. So I deleted them. Not really sure what happened to YouTube ads on my rocket videos. I sort of forgot about it for 5 years.

Anyway, the letter says the money is going to be handed over to the State of Georgia as unclaimed funds because I haven't logged into that AdSense account since 2010. If I want to actually claim the money I have to sign the letter and return it to PriceWaterhouseCoopers, then open a new AdSense account and the money will be transferred to it. But AdSense still won't remit any funds below a $100 threshold. Ever. A quote from the AdSense agreement:

10. Termination

.... If you terminate the Agreement and your earned balance equals or exceeds the applicable threshold, we will pay you your earned balance....  Any earned balance below the applicable threshold will remain unpaid.

Remain unpaid? Indefinitely? I don't think you can do that. The accountants must be appeased! What happens to amounts under $100? Some consultant at PriceWaterhouseCoopers is probably really bent that Google won't change this language in the AdSense agreement. I bet they can't think of any legitimate journal entry to transfer that amount from liabilities to equity. 

I took one financial accounting class at Georgia Tech in about 1987, so this is definitely not my field. I am fully prepared to be totally wrong about this. But I did learn double entry bookkeeping and the basic element of ethics it implies. If a company has a number in the credit column they have to have the same number in the debit column. Right now Google has $75 in the account for owing people money that is offsetting $75 in an actual bank account, collected from an advertiser because somebody watched an ad on a video I made. This makes it so Google doesn't have to show that $75 of actual money as an asset. It's a liability, owed to me. But they never intend to give me that $75. That's obviously unethical to me. 

And now you know why I was unable to make it as a businesswoman and closed my S-Corporation in 2005.

If I do nothing I guess PriceWaterhouseCoopers makes Google hand $75 over to Georgia. Google has to subtract it out of their column of actual money. Then it becomes Georgia's actual money to earn interest on indefinitely while it sits in another column on Georgia's books as money still owed to me. That sounds more fair. Maybe the right course of action is to not return the letter to force that to happen.

In the best case scenario this weird threshold loophole is a waste of administrative resources for accountants, mail clerks, and me. This has to happen ALL the time. In the worst case scenario, it's ... I don't know. I draw the line at calling something fraud this far from my area of expertise. I am merely skeptical and curious for an explanation. Any knowledgable comments appreciated.

Note: this is a free blog provided by Google. I am not missing the symbolism of criticizing their accounting on a service they are giving away. I pay a yearly fee for my URL registrations but I don't pay Google anything for hosting content. Directly anyway. I do apparently provide them a tiny single line tax dodge. You're welcome.